The Curse of the American Soccer Mom

Au Pairs have to deal with a lot of crap. Soccer moms fall into this category.

We don’t really have these in New Zealand, at least nowhere near as bad as I’ve seen here, but we’re also starting to see these moms who are raising wimpy, bratty kids, who will eventually be wimpy, bratty adults.

Because I live in an upper-middle class neighborhood, the soccer moms here are worse than anywhere else. They’re usually stay-at-home moms who have nothing else to focus on but their children. My host dad explained that some of these moms had high-paying, corporate careers, but gave it up when they had kids. They have nowhere to put their focus and drive so they transfer it to the mom


The Soccer Mom is responsible for most of the censoring and unnecessary safety features on products. Her kids must not be exposed to any filthy language or violence on tv, and she expects the rest of the world to live up to her moral code, even while she swears at the cashier at Walmart. Her kids will never be exposed to real life, must be wrapped in cotton wool, and will probably end up with a drug problem as teenagers. She is also the reason for excessive speed bumps and stop signs in the suburbs.

Their kids are doing heaps of after school activities, snacks are eaten in the car, and Suzy does her homework while Johnny plays soccer and then they switch while Suzy does ballet. Even though they’re doing so many activities, they need to keep their grades up as well. Soccer moms live vicariously through their kids, and usually put an unhealthy amount of pressure on them, even when they’re just playing sport at 1st grade level.

Soccer Moms are on the PTA, and often seen loitering around the school. They arrive an hour before school finishes so they can gossip with other soccer moms. They drive a huge mini-van or SUV and can’t park it to save their life, usually because they’re talking into their cellphones at the same time. The back of this SUV is plastered with stickers saying her kid is an honour roll student, as well as the obligatory soccer ball sticker.

These are the “ladies who lunch”. Women who work out for two hours a day, live at Starbucks, and travel in packs of other like-minded women. They’re always boring everyone while they talk about their kids after school activities, since they’re always there to see every goal their kid scores. Don’t dare wear shorts or a short skirt while picking up the kids or you’ll be given a dirty look-since you obviously want to get into her middle aged, overweight, bald husbands pants.

Many of the host mums are soccer moms. Their kids are angels and wouldn’t do anything wrong, they just keep getting one evil Au Pair after another so it must be the agency’s fault. Work for a soccer mom at your own peril!

soccer ballFor me, soccer moms are the worst part of living here. They’re rude, obnoxious, and if they’re not giving you the stink eye, they look right through you. I’m lucky enough that my host mum works full-time and hates soccer moms as well, so I don’t have much to do with them other than at the kids school, and activities, but in this area they’re absolutely everywhere. They walk along with four of their darling kids trailing along and whining behind them while they ignore them and talk on the phone.

I really do believe that these moms are actually creating a problem for society. Even in New Zealand we’re starting to see these “precious” kids, who have been taught that the world revolves around them. They’re super competitive, over-indulged, and believe they are the best at everything. They’re turning into teenagers and adults that end up dropping out of school and living on a benefit since they have such a strong sense of entitlement and were never disciplined growing up.

Don’t get me wrong-there are plenty of nice women whose kids do sport after school that arn’t like this, but lately it seems like all I can see are these vapid, self-centered creatures, and I wonder what made them turn out like this? I mean surely they must have had some career aspirations once upon a time. Did having kids really tip them over the edge into soccer mom madness or was it always lurking there, waiting, and having kids just allowed it free reign?

The one good thing about being around these women, is that they’ve shown me the way that I don’t want to end up. I don’t think complete and utter devotion to your children is the best way to be a parent-if anything it’s unhealthy for the kids to know they’re the center of your whole world. If I ever have kids, I fully intend to have a job, and interests outside of them.

3 comments on “The Curse of the American Soccer Mom

  1. Steph DiscoveringIce May 26, 2012 @ 3:10 pm

    Great post! I know exactly the type of woman you are talking about, I hate them too! I think mostly they feel the need to live up to expectations of themselves in society, the upper-class, wife of a rich husband type who has fancy clothes, drives unnecessarily big, polluting cars to drop their lazy kids to school 5 minutes away etc. They're all the same. So boring.

  2. onetravelsfar May 26, 2012 @ 3:28 pm

    Yes! You're so right. I'm glad someone agrees with me.I probably study them the same way you'd study a bug under a magnifying glass lol. I like to think I'm a pretty tolerant person, but I just struggle to understand those women at all.

  3. Joe July 30, 2013 @ 7:01 am

    These women are the worst, to be avoided at all cost. No other entity wast resources on the scale these people do. Some of the best moments of my life has been when these types attempt to take a crap on me and I shut them down.

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